INTRODUCING TDU 2020
Join us on an 8 hour road trip west to Adelaide, where we get our first taste of the electric atmosphere of the TDU.
2020 marks our sixth straight tour of duty, and signals us going for the fifth straight self-awarded “Best Tour Content from The #Streets” trophy. It’s hard redefining freshly baked cycling content each January but dammit we will continue trying to innovate, synergise and elevate.
WHAT TO EXPECT
In past years we’ve typically followed a formula, but we’re always a crew who likes to add a secret chilli to the broth every now and again. Lengthy daily reportage is a thing of the past, when bodies and minds could withstand the workload it took. It also ends up being hard to stop repeating ourselves, although we can promise a return to Stirling Cellars & Patisserie. Instead think of shorter posts custom made for coffee and lunch breaks, think of things you can gulp down with ease, or drip fed if you’re not in Adelaide and in need of some nice escapism. Think of us pulling this all together around a comically small table within our airbnb.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE NUTS’N’BOLTS?
Whether you’re going to be here in Adelaide with us, or reading from back home, one thing you might be grateful for is the fact that there will be nearly 0 complaints about the heat. The hottest forecast day so far is 31ºC this week, a far cry from the typical average of 40-plus temps.
What you can expect is cultural discussion, professional AND amateur bike racing commentary as we watch the pro’s do their thing during the tour, and watch our friends rip it up at the local support races. With so many pro’s cruising around town we’ve been slinging DM’s and sending hampers of baked goods to pro team press officers in the hope of securing a couple of interviews – we just hope they’re not gluten intolerant.
I: THE OFFICIAL ROAD TRIP
Breakfast at 6.30am became breakfast at 8am due to Kip sleeping through his morning alarm. One hour behind schedule. Adrian then copped mostly red lights on the way along the outbound Ballarat Rd, more precious minutes added. Finally we hit the Western Highway where the smoky haze that had blanketed Melbourne and indeed most of eastern Victoria followed us for a few hours as we made waves towards the Wimmera.
The first stop came in Nhill, to stretch legs out on the vibrant green lawns in the middle of town, and pick up the last skerricks from the local bakery as they closed up at 1pm. We would have stuck around for longer, but the prospect of being stuck behind a long line of caravaners on the now single lane highway had us thinking better of it.
As we ventured deeper into the Victorian wheat belt, the skies began to clear of their smoky haze – going from patchy skies to pure blue, something us Victorian’s hadn’t seen in a while. While it wasn’t hot, the mid-afternoon sun was certainly warming up, leading Kip to take a kip in the passenger seat. He woke up startled 15 minutes later as we pulled up opposite our final stop for the afternoon in Coonalpyn.
II: LIEGE – COONALPYN – LIEGE
We’d passed through Coonalpyn 6 times during 3 different road trips between Melbourne and Adelaide, but it wasn’t until Adrian’s sister moved to this small country town that we were made aware of the apparent “amazingly life changing waffles and jaffles” a claim backed up by her farmhands – 2 German backpackers.
Described as a hole in the wall kind of spot, as we approached the town we thought maybe the reason we hadn’t ever stopped was down to lack of visibility at 60kmph. Turns out we would be wrong as we pulled up opposite to a glowing beacon of afternoon delight.
Snail farmers during the week, the Coonalpyn Waffles & Jaffles spot is run by a Belgian/Dutch couple with enough charm you’d almost ask them to adopt you. We were unfairly skeptical even waiting to cross the road to place our order, but if the first arrivals to our table – coffee and milkshakes were anything to go by, special things were to come.
Turns out the claim of life changing waffles and jaffles hold true. The waffles, lovingly made by Belgians behind a little window might be self-explanatory, but how could they make a life-changing jaffle: something that is essentially 2 pieces of bread and filling, pocketed together? Who knows, but the Belgians of Coonalpyn are onto something. You’d be doing yourself a disservice if you pass through and didn’t drop $18 on a jaffle, waffles and a drink.
III: FIRST GLIMPSES
Only a few hours later we were in Adelaide. Roadtrip complete, airbnb checked into, local supermarkets and their closing times scouted out. We jumped on our bikes to stretch the legs and head down to the Tour Village to see our friend Andy, who has been posting some absolute gold from the Women’s Tour Down Under.
Turns out the huge crowds and rockstar reception wasn’t just there to see Andy in all his glory, but the tour riders as well. From the back of the Tour Village, a tunnel of people led the way down to a massive stage where the Men’s and Women’s teams pulled up to wave to the adoring general public, and talk about the racing that had been, and the racing that would be.
For the women, racing would come to a head the following evening, wearing in the racing line and chasing down the last chance for tour glory. The men would be kicking their week of racing off with a warm up event on the same course just an hour later.
IV: BONIFICATIONS > PINK SLIPS
FAST FORWARD TO: “THE FOLLOWING EVENING”
The city was windy, blocks were closed off and a windy course had been fenced off from earlier in the day. There were 7 seconds that separated first and third, and an hour or so of racing to figure out who would take the GC for the Women’s Tour Down Under.
This years crit course was an absolute banger. The wide boulevards of crits of years gone by, fringing the city and cutting through the parkland made way for true urban warfare out on the streets. Rain mixed with the white painted traffic lines proving to be the weapon of choice, particularly late in the men’s race.
HOWEVER…
The feeling of wanting to make the journey across the course and into the infield of the course, only to realise you can get out until the race is over, and now you’re trapped in a concrete maze of skyscrapers, fellow spectators and closed off streets. You didn’t know how good you had it before, on the outside of the fence.
NOTE TO SELF: Carry (min. $3.50AUD) cash in order to acquire roadside donuts.
BONIFICATIONS:
The paying of a bonus (especially in relation to taxes). ALSO: betterment of housing conditions and farming practices in a particular area (such as a malarial area); ALSO: a word that sounds so fake that we thought Dave McKenzie was simply making shit up on the spot.
The main point of excitement in the race came from a small breakaway that contained a mix of young riders bursting on the scene, and a few riders with a bit more experience wanting to stamp their name on the tour. Earlier on the main GC contenders went head to head for bonus seconds (or as Dave McKenzie referred to them: Bonifications) during the intermediate sprints.
Once it seemed as though GC was settled, the peloton settled back down and let the race unfold ahead of them for a while, simply content with watching things unfold in the breakaway up the street. It only took a few key moments of hesitation and the peloton realised the race had probably gotten away from them – first when the break opened a 30 second lead, then again in the final moments of the race, where they thought they’d reigned the break in, only to be proven wrong.
With a win the day before, the overall race victory was in Trek Segafredo’s hands – more specifically US National Champ Ruth Winder. With so many bonifications on offer throughout the final stage, and the bunches on rubber bands it was hard to truly keep track of GC leads. It would be a last minute contender for Corner Like Casey Stoner moment of the WTDU that secured victory for Ruth, the team barreling in to the final few corners before an intermediate sprint that secured them the final bonification seconds required for the overall victory.
V: ANYWAY, THE DUDES...
It was 6.30pm, the men’s race was still 15 minutes away. Riders were filtering through the official sign on for the race, moving on to running warm up lap after warm up lap. Let us start the coverage of the upcoming Men’s race with this interesting bike to human ratio, making their way downtown, walking fast…towards the team pits.
Minutes before the race we were treated to sporadic rain, while the commentary team treated the crowds to not-so sporadic pieces of Caleb Ewan hype.
Over the opening laps it seemed he was unaware this was a bike race, sitting back in third last. We might not be professional cyclists, but wasn’t this a race? Wasn’t the aim to be winning? Things only got worse as we saw him slip back to second last a few laps later, then LAST a few laps after that. What was going on for Australia’s favourite sprinting son? Things were looking bad. We tried yelling out some strategic advice from the fence line (read: “Come first dude!”) but it seemed to fall on deaf ears.
CHAPEAU LIL’ NEPHEW
The cutest and most passionate display of support can only be awarded to one person: the lil nephew of Mitch Docker. No we didn’t go sussing ancestry.com, or lurking Instagram accounts, the only spoiler we needed was this homemade sign cheering on “Uncle Mitchell”. As the race came past there was an immediate search for the bright pink jerseys of EF Cannondale, and if Uncle Mitch was spotted, an almighty “Go Mitchell!” belowed out across the street. This process started during the warm up laps, and didn’t skip a beat right up to the sprint to the line.
* A WILD HARRY & FERG APPEAR *
Rocking their fresh “2ft of air” t-shirts, they were doing the rounds, cameras in hand, enjoying life on the outfield, shooting up a storm for Hikari Media.
As it would so turn out, Caleb Ewan knows a little more about bicycle racing strategy than we do…who knew? We thought that perhaps all the pre-race hype got to his head as we watched him navigate the early stages of the race within the last 3 riders, but somehow he’d pulled off a miracle. In the space of 30 minutes he’d worked his way from last to first, kicking away over the last 200m of the race to take an easy victory.
Is this unprecedented? Is it considered human? We’re just grateful he got everyone else in the race to hurry things along as moments after he crossed the line the heavens opened. It’s now the morning after and the heaven’s haven’t quit. We’re waiting for drier roads so we can test our own bunch sprints.