TDU 2020 STAGE 5: FOURTEEN HOURS IN GLENELG
We checked out Adelaide’s very own St Kilda for the street party, a dinner, and the bustle of the start line.
While we’re primarily based across Melbourne’s North West, and Adelaide’s North West, we’ve been to St Kilda enough times to know enough about Glenelg. During our first ever Tour of Duty back in 2015, we hit up Acland Street Glenelg, or whatever-it-is-actually-called-but-we’re-convinced-it’s-a-copy-and-paste-job Street, Glenelg – for the pre-stage street party.
For those reading along who haven’t been to the Tour Down Under, or who don’t understand the social and cultural significance of said street parties, well they go down each night before the stage is due to roll out from that very spot.
This year there were face massages, food trucks, a goddamn wrestling ring, and all other types of exciting shit that led us to completely forget to take a single photo, instead kicking out feet up on the beach after all of it had gone down, letting the setting sun wash away the reverberations of excitement from Jetty Road, Glenelg. Yep, we looked it up.
But enough about that, the purpose of this intro is to quickly discuss the distinct similarities between Acland Street St Kilda, and Jetty Road Glenelg.
Prove us wrong..!
I: P.M AT KEFI
First, let us introduce you to Ali. Normally he’s regarded as a “Permanent Vacationer”, a title that might need revising as he is now an official legitimate businessman. We won’t get into the details of how Ali came to be, those who know already know, and those who don’t can refer to between the lines of our 2017 Tour Down Under reportage. What we can and will get into the details of is his new venture: Kefi, a restaurant that is elevating Greek cuisine in the fine city of Adelaide. Can someone ask Boris what “incredible scenes” is in Ancient Greek?
Secondly, let us introduce you to Mythos. Greek beer of some persuasion, or adoringly referred to as “pure cat piss mayyyte” by Matty Boi who may or may not possess some bias as a young Macedonian Prince. Sociopolitcal agreivances aside, it was bottles of Mythos, cans of coke and glasses of Tempranillo which were the drinks of choice this fine Friday night at Kefi.
Now onto the food…oh the food. At first you might scoff seeing a menu where souvlaki’s make up almost a column of mains, but keep your mind open – these aren’t no Brunswick Street Fitzroy type souvla’s. These are the kind that will send you into a complete and utter daze. Think of that rush of blood to the head Achilles must have lived through the second after an arrow went through his heel. Imagine Olympiacos beating Galatasaray to win the Champions League final. Imagine a 4-storey golden statue of Greco King of the Boards Christos Volikakis. The souvlaki’s hit a whole other level of different at Kefi’s.
The place is unmistakably Greek. The ceilings are low, all the surfaces are hard and probably made of rare imported ancient marble. Shit, did you see the hell Greek posters on the wall? We were lucky on two counts, the first being that we have a number of qualified experts in the field of architecture and acoustics, and secondly by scoring a table outside thanks to certain connections (knowing the owner). Go pay Ali a visit, it will be worth your while, just ensure you’ve got a ride planned the day after – your body will thank you for it.
II: FEELING THE RUSH IN THE A.M
Fortunately for us we did have a ride planned for the day after. The nutrition provided by the charcoaled meat, saganaki and galaktoboureko powered a ride down the Anzac Highway that probably would have won a Monument most years – if anything the handicap of always riding in sneakers and civvies was all that has held us back in the past. We pulled up to a bustling Glenelg for the roll out of the fifth stage of the Tour, taking the traditional route for this time of the week – Glenelg to Victor Harbor.
Knowing that a sprinters stage lay ahead, most of the pro’s couldn’t be chiller if they tried, whether going through their typical pre-race routines, speaking to third party media, in house media, or with riders from other teams. Spotted amongst all the hustle were the angels at Hikari Media doing their thing with Uni SA team, we’d link up with Harry for the post stage ride back into town, and the rest of them later in the tour, tonights feature story.
“What would I have? A couple of sausages maybe – can’t go wrong with a bit of filthy sausage can you.”
– SIMON YATES (PLACING HIS BBQ ORDER FOR TOMORROWS WILLUNGA STAGE)
And with a rendition of the national anthem and a countdown from Dave McKenzie the riders were off…for the most part. A good 30 seconds after lights out there were still plenty of riders chilling by the team vans at the back, happy to finish conversations before clocking on. Respect.
III: THE PELICAN SOCKS
So there we were, minding our own and enjoying (read: hating) a Movistar team-issue Esprecho. It was there, on that footpath that the holy union of fathers day presents was completed, a coming together of socks and jocks. Incredible to think that almost 28 years after Grisham’s The Pelican Brief hit the shelves at the local Borders (rip), in early 2019 The Pelican Socks announced itself to the world.
BUT WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?
Well the thing about Western Australian hardcore bands from the mid-2000’s is that they kind of exist in this all encompassing void. There are a handful of bands that fit this bill, where they are neither actively touring, nor are they on hiatus or officially broken up. Every few years they seem to come back to much fanfare, play a couple of shows at the Phoenix Youth Centre in Footscray, a few more at St Patricks Hall in Wangaratta to appease the regional fans (sidenote: the concept of a tour called the “Drunk and Disorderly Tour” being played at a church hall is the perfect snapshot of late 2000s Australia), then vanish into the Western Australian night, hidden by the difference in time zone, free to enjoy their 9 to 5’s.
Or as it would turn out, slinging cycling apparel. Enter Cameron Jose – guitarist from Miles Away. He spotted two young tatted teens in Adrian and Harry, and rightly assumed that they were both legends worthy of a pair of socks and a musette. He was right. We got talking post sock-gifting, that’s when we found out who he was, what the brand was, what he was up to this week. One of those things he was up to was contemplating going to see Terror play in the city that night, funnily enough Adrian had just finished watching a video of his friend performing guesties at Melbourne the night before.
Go grab some socks, they have a pelican embroidered on them so you know they’re good. Thanks Cam.